July 30th, 2009

University

My mom wanted me to join a sorority for networking purposes, and pardon my French, that’s plenty dumb! I’ve heard about the hazing. I’m going to sign a paper with my own bloody fingerprint and I’m going to find myself in a wooden coffin drifting into the Atlantic Ocean. They wouldn’t really have to haul it far, either. We basically LIVE on the beach! This is literally one of Aesop’s fables. “The Bimbo Troupe and the Wooden Coffin”. Yeah? No? Whatever! It’s still an absolutely rancid idea that deserves no further inspection under a microscope or the naked eye. Again, pardon my Italian. It’s scorching hot down here in Florida and my head is sloshing with pink slime that could once be considered a brain by the most pedantic of taxonomists. I should probably go down to the beach and start dunking my head in the saltwater. And now I’m talking about hazing myself, wow! Life imitates art.

I sort of wonder if anybody that’s followed my accolades since I was in HIGH SCHOOL (if you’re out there, sorry!) goes to my university or is at least local. I know I probably shouldn’t leak my university lest some creep comes to my window and personally beats me to death, but I think it’d be pretty cool if somebody personally recognized me as somebody that helped localize School Days, for example. Like, they personally come to me while I’m walking to my Humanities class and just whispers “nice boat” in my ear. Putting it like that kind of makes it look like this hypothetical person wants to skin me, actually! Wow!

Who cares, actually? Come at me! I’m attending UAC (University of Achilranes)! There’s 20,000 students actively attending this school, you won’t manage to track me down. Buuuuuuut if you’re an actually nice person that WON’T kill me… how about you email me? I’d love to get in touch!