May 19th, 2010

Cram

I might be fucked. I’ve been doing nothing but cramming day in day out day night night day midway sideways fuck me sideways. Exams are in a week and a half and I’ve got nothing to show for any of it, nothing but anything. Anything but something. I feel like a baby bird, wanting to fly but not knowing the motions to flap my wings. I’ve gotta analyze Rene Magritte’s Son Of Man. It’s hard to get the gears turning when you don’t really know what the fuck you’re looking at! All I can really focus on is his arm and that apple. I know it’s a self portrait, whatever that might entail. Kind of stupid to make a self portrait where your face isn’t even there. The audience wants to see you.

You wanna put yourself out there in hopes that you find somebody like you.

That’s what it’s all about. It’s that feeling of connection to other people.

Finding somebody that went through the same struggles you did.

But more times than not, they end up picking at you like birds. The worms eat the apple away, exposing the entrails of a human being.

Hey, I think I figured it out!