October 1st, 2010

WARN

Sitting there in the dorm lobby. Carly dropped me off after hours in the pool. It's early morning. The cicadas haven't woken up and the crickets haven't gone to bed. I'm fiddling with my iPod absentmindedly because what else is there to do? I'm preoccupied with this sense I haven't felt in years. It's less so that I'm conciously feeling my emotions, but it's more like I'm prodding them with a stick.

The elevator doors--which are a good twenty odd feet away from me--emit a quiet yell as they open. The inside is lined with a dated wood grain and stained red carpet. It's emblematic of a time that doesn't exist anymore, especially when everything else surrounding it has long since been updated for modern sensibilities. It didn't "ding" as it arrived.

It hung open. Nobody left or entered. Nobody was around barring myself.

I jumped to my feet. That reminded me of something I had to do but got distracted.

I had to warn her. I didn't get to do it then.

Still hardly dressed, I ran out into the middle of the six-in-the-morning road. I lept and bounded like a deer across a highway. I had left everything in the lobby and I hadn't even noticed. It wasn't important. I had to warn Carly of what I'd seen that day.

I could change things. I could do it all if I was fast. If I just found her before it was too late.

The air tasted of copper as I screamed her name. I had bit my tongue over and over.

I got to her apartment. It was a ways away from campus. It's in the middle of a slum;

I needed to see her now I needed to see her now I need to see her now

Grasping the bronze doorknob in my hand It swings open easily like it was never closed

There's this noise I cannot shake from the boundary between logic and paranoia

That yells at me that it's already found HER

BLINDLY STUMBLING AROUND HER APARTMENT

i've never been here before.

I NEED TO GO AND FIND HER BEFORE ITS TOO LATE

that scratching is getting louder

WHY IS SHE HIDING FROM ME,

i scream,

IN A MIX OF ANGUISH AND A SEMINAL FEAR

She walks through the door JUST THEN

in the same garb I SAW HER IN last

holding THE towels she had just used in her ARMS

I had for a moment believed that it was in fact soaked with her blood

the blood OF AN ANGEL

I STUMBLE OVER TO HER HALF MANIC HALF SANE IN THE WAY

WHERE A DIFFERENT PART OF ME STANDS OFF TO THE SIDE

AND REFLECTS ON HOW STUPID I LOOK AND SOUND

Full body sweating as I grab her by the shoulders In a navy blue bathing suit Thanking God I found her before they did and she's asking me Who Are They and I'm crying real tears of relief and abject terror Saying WORDS TO HER

I Saw You Die One Day Carly

I Forgot To Be Worried Because My Holy Duty Says That I Shouldn't Meddle In Worldly Affairs Because I Would Just Get In The Way

BUT IF YOU JUST DO WHAT I SAY THEN WE'LL BOTH GO TO HEAVEN TOGETHER

and you don't have to be scared anymore!

we'll both be archons together under the moonlight because we both did our holy duties!

"What are you talking about?"

I SAW YOUR DEATH IN A DREAM OF MINE

AND I SEE THE FUTURE

YOU TOLD ME THAT I MIGHT BE CLAIRVOYANT

YOU WERE RIGHT

"That was a joke. I was fucking joking, Cat!"

"You need to calm down! You're scaring me!"

IT'S YOU WHO'S BEING IRRATIONAL

I SAW THINGS

I SAW YOUR BODY DOUBLED OVER IN YOUR CAR OFF IN THE WOODS

YOU HIT A DEER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND IT DAMAGED YOUR ENGINE

YOU TRIED WRANGLING CONTROL BACK BUT YOU WENT OVER THAT CLIFF

YOU DIED ON IMPACT CARLY

let me protect you we can cheat death together.

I need you.

I need you.

I need you.

I need you.