It's approximately four in the morning and there she is. Sitting there, fidgeting with her hands, looking back and forth with eyes that haven't known rest. I figure she hasn't slept since I slipped that letter underneath her bed.

I choke back the vile thoughts that've been killing me. They speak to me in a different tone and make me imagine things I never wanted to. I think they are mine. It's a truth I never wanted to accept. I am. I am selfish.

She meets my gaze at last. She gets up, stumbling towards me like something is restraining her from running. I believe I can almost see the hands grasping at her body. She embraces me but I don't know if I feel her warmth. She has to lean over to cry into my shoulder. I have to push her off. I calmly and rationally explain.

"I'm sorry. I killed Jack."

She said something. I can't remember what she said now. I just remember her in that moment. She had clearly just thrown on whatever she could scrounge up at home. An ill-fitting Sonic shirt with jeans. She always had a bad habit of sleeping with her nose ring in. She complained to me about the hair dye being "too pernament" a month ago. The red tips haven't gone away. She pulled her hair back in a messy bun to look a little more put together.

She sighed then. "I got your letter."

"I thought that was pretty obvious."

She laughed bitterly before going silent again. A while passed between us before she pulled me in again, resting her chin on my head and staring up at the starless sky. "I love you too. I was scared out of my mind that you probably didn't feel the same way, and, and... God."

She opened her mouth to say something else. Nothing came out, nothing threatened to happen.

"You know what...?

What if we just run away?" She pulled away, trailing her hands down and gripping my hands. "We're already here. You don't have to brave everything alone. We can do it together!"

"I'm sorry."

I step out of her embrace. "I'm sorry! I can't. I can't keep running."

Her face then. How broken and frail she looked. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

I ran away from her into the reeds and grass.