Let's Play Chicken Shoot (Part 1)

January 15th, 2010

Chicken Shoot, motherfucker. This first part probably won't be THAT long, to be honest. I've demoed the game for a bit just to make sure everything's working properly. I will say that this game was apparently used already. Usually my game store provides new sealed games, but this is like, one of the incredibly rare exceptions. I suppose this is the nature of a free market. Anybody's allowed to spread their deadly sicknesses. Ever go to a Wawa? There's kids licking the walls like they pay a mortgage.

Well, nothing left to do but do it. This is Chicken Shoot. Game of the Year material already.

Is this not the greatest thing you or I have ever seen? This is like God speaking to you through your computer screen. Holy shit that rhymed. I can replace Eninem.

For the uninitiated, Chicken Shoot is a game where you, what else, shoot a bunch of ruffled ruffians hankering to ruffle up your ruffle day and eat all your Ruffles and leave you ruffled. And you've got a gun. If you're legitimately interested, this is the Official (trademark) Chicken Shoot Website. This is how I learned that this game has a Flash variant. I could have just not paid the $2 I did to play this, but that $2 was burning a hole through my pocket. Go check out the website. This is art.

Okay. The cracks are literally already starting to show. That's a record if I've ever seen one.

I get disc scratching being a legitimate problem when it comes to PC or console games, but WOW. You'd think that it wouldn't be THAT bad.

Okay, so I didn't need to reset. If you just kind of brute-force your way through it, you can actually make the game realize that cosplaying as the Joker is a terrible idea. Well, I say YOU, but this is a situation that could literally only happen to me. Eh. I don't know, this could be a widespread issue.

Regardless, it's a very bog-standard game. You shoot chickens, shoot chickens, get their asses, shoot, get chicken, gettem!!!

I didn't get to take a screenshot, but there's a minigame where you have to collect eggs in a basket lest they collide with the floor and you're accused of violating the Geeseva Convention. It's riveting.

Okay, that's Level One over and done with. Level Two!

I gotta admit. This is significantly harder than the first one

God dammit. I'm trying to not go full Irate Video Game Reviewer with their flashy toy guns and strange deliveries. God forbid. We have way too many of those guys online as is. I'm purposefully not bringing up the deplorable. But man, this is way harder than it realistically has any right being. Eh. I might just be bad at video games. I'm not a gamer, I'm studying art. And, in a way, Chicken Shoot is art-

You're KIDDING ME!